


Who am I? (Sally FacexTravis) DISCONTINUED

by Luci_A_Fucking_Satanic_Gay_Goose



Category: Sally Face - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 17,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luci_A_Fucking_Satanic_Gay_Goose/pseuds/Luci_A_Fucking_Satanic_Gay_Goose
Summary: I'm not gay, am I?Travis doesn't understand why he feels for only boys, it's a sin and he'll be sent to hell for it. His dad beats him mercilessly and just as Travis thinks the solution to his problems is to end it all, a bright light in the shape of Sal Fisher appears. Travis soon realises that there is always something worth living for and that he's more than the label his father gives him. But he doesn't know how long it's going to last.
Relationships: Ashley Campbell/ Larry Johnson, Sally face/Travis Phelps, Todd/ Neil
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	1. Sally Face

I was having another one of those damn dreams. It was just white. I couldn't see anything but the blank walls of the room. I couldn't see a door anywhere. Wait, were there even any walls? It was bright and I could hear that persons voice again. I didn't understand what they were saying, they spoke too fast for me to piece together any meaning from their endless tangent of wordless sentences.

"I don't understand anything your saying!" I cried out into the void.

They started speaking slower, up until the point where they were saying each individual letter by itself.

'Well, that helped,' I thought to myself, trying not to let my frustration show.

I could hear a loud ringing, which usually signalled me waking up. I covered my ears as the whole room faded into darkness.

***************************************************************************

"Mr Fisher, that doesn't look like maths to me," Mrs Packerton said in a stern voice.

"Sorry, must've dosed off. I finished the test though," I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Yes, I know dear, you aced it pretty well. Just try and stay awake for the remainder of the lesson," her tone got softer.

I sighed, annoyed that I would have to wait for everyone else to finish first before I could leave.

"And Mr Phelps, eyes on your own paper!"

Travis scowled and turned away. I stopped myself from laughing at him. What a prick.

"The lesson is almost over, turn in your papers soon," she called out to my other classmates.

A few minutes later, the bell rang loudly. Reminded me of the ringing in my dreams.

***************************************************************************

Me and Ash were by our lockers, chatting to each other while we waited for Larry and Todd.

"Hey Freaks!"

I rolled my eyes and turned to the blonde boy standing by his locker.

"Nobody likes a goody-too shoes, Saaallly face," his face was filled with disgust.

"Nobody likes a cliché bully, Traaaavvis," I mocked his voice.

"Haven't you got anything better to do," Ash said.

"Shut up bitch, I wasn't talking to you!"

"You know if you took that stick out of your ass, you might actually enjoy yourself, maybe make some friends," it was true, he had barely anyone to hang out with at school.

"Fuck off Faggot, I have more friends than any of you!" He actually seemed kinda hurt by what I said, I think I hit a nerve. I went for the final attack.

"Kiss your daddy with that mouth? I'm sure he..." I didn't get to finish my sentence before Travis suddenly lunged forward and punched me in the face. He stalked off.

"What the hell asshole?" Ash shouted at him, helping me up from the floor.

She turned to me.

"Are you okay Sal?"

"I'm fine," I said, letting go of her hand.

"Come on, let's go report that jerk," she said.

Don't worry, it will only make things worse, trust me. I've dealt with bigger bullies than Travis," I didn't feel like reporting him would be the right thing. He must have a reason why he does this. Todd has his theories but I've ignored them all so far.

"Sal, you're bleeding," Ash wiped away some blood that was trickling out from my mask.

"I'm fine Ash," I pushed her hand away.

"Here let's use my bandana," she pulled the cloth out of her pocket and started to unbuckle the bottom straps of my mask. My eyes widened with shock as she started to pull it up.

"Wait, no you can't! I-"

It was too late. She had already pulled it up and was dabbing her bandana on my face. I was hoping she'd see my face in different circumstances, that it would happen when I was more comfortable. Right now we were in public and I was bleeding. I stared up at her face. She looked uncertain about something, I couldn't tell what but then she smiled.

"There, it was only a scratch, nothing to worry about," she pulled my mask back down.

I buckled the straps back up,a large smile hiding underneath the heavy plaster face.

"Hey, dude, what happened?" Larry called, running up to us," was it Travis again? That prick, I'll kill him!"

"Larry, don't. It's over now, there's nothing we can do about it," I said.

"Sal's right. If we stir the pot we could make things worse," Ashley crossed her arms.

"Not if he's dead!" Larry still wasn't giving up.

"Then he'll probably haunt the school and we'll be stuck with that bonehead for the next two years," she rolled her eyes.

"Ha! Says the groups sceptic!" I laughed to myself.

"Okay, you know I love you guys, but even this whole ghost thing is too much for me," Ash shivered.

"So are we really gonna let this Travis thing go?" Larry clenched his fists.

"It's not worth it," I was kinda pissed off that Larry wasn't getting the message," Plus think about it, who knows what his home life is like. He's got a lot of pent up rage, there must be a reason."

The Phelps family was one of mystery. I knew they were very religious, his dad owned a church near the apartments but other than that I really knew nothing of them. I am worried about Travis though. He's had the same black eye for almost a year now, it always starts to fade away but then the next day he comes in and it's gone a dark purple again. It doesn't help that he gives the same excuse of falling off of his bike every time a teacher questions him about it. Who knows how many of those bruises he has.

"I'm pretty sure he's angry because they switched bologna sandwich day to tomorrow," Ash said. I mentally disagreed with her.

Larry laughed, his tough persona softened.

"Seriously, I've never seen anyone like the crappiest lunch day so much. It's like a prison meal," she had a good point," He doesn't even like pizza Friday's. Who doesn't like pizza? It's inhuman," we laughed together.

"Maybe he's an alien," Larry chipped in one of his own ideas.

"Ha! That's all we need," we all started to walk down the corridor. Ash slowed down until she was next to Larry.

"Pst, Larry, I'll help you kill Travis when sal isn't looking," she whispered rather loudly.

"I heard that!" I frowned but they didn't see.


	2. Travis

Why the fuck did I punch him earlier? How is that gonna help with anything? My dad will still beat me no matter what I do. I'm such a retard to think that bullying someone who isn't even gay will stop him from hurting me. He thinks I'm a fucking faggot, hell he even calls me one. Always the same label.

"Your a faggot. God will never love you! He will send you into Satan's arms where you will burn for all eternity," he'd shout before beating the living day lights out of me. My side still hurts from where he kicked me. My eye is a little puffy, the bruise surrounding it now looked harsh and had gone black.

Right now he had locked me inside my room, I wasn't getting any food tonight. Mom had argued back but he was able to silence her quickly. A smack around the face always shut her up. Her cheek had a large red handprint on it. We could never say anything against him, he'd probably kill us if we did. He's never hesitated to hurt us before so it would probably be the same if God supposedly told him to murder us. It would definitely wash away the sins held by me. I'm not a flamer though, I know I'm not. It was a phase I went through at the beginning of the year which he beat out of me. It should be gone now. I hope it is. If it's not then... home is gonna be more like hell. 

"I don't want this," I whispered, hugging my knees to my chest. I winced in pain.

There was a knock on the door.

"Doors locked," I mumbled.

I heard a click and the door opened. Mom poked her head into the room and walked in with a plate of food.

"He's gone to the church, don't know when he'll be getting back," she sat down next to me.

"Good, I hope he never comes back," I growled.

"Don't say that," she handed the food to me. I tucked in.

"I'm sorry mom but he's an absolute asshole. How can you stand him?" 

"Travis, you don't understand the situation it would put me, maybe even us, in if your father and I separated. I can't do anything about it now," she sighed.

"So you want him to continue doing this? You want him to abuse us?" I felt the anger surging through my body.

"That's not what I meant," Mom played with her chipped nail. She didn't look up at me.

"What do you mean then?"

"I don't have the money to divorce your father!" she burst into tears.

I was shocked. She had a well-paying job, I don't understand.

"But your job..." My voice trailed off.

"I still have it but he takes the money and hides it in the church. Tells me it's 'Gods money'. I think he keeps it, I mean his own job doesn't give him much," she laughed through her tears.

I couldn't believe it. He's been taking her money? How did I not know? I looked at my mom, put the plate on the floor and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"It's not you, it's him," she held on to me tightly.

I let go of her and wiped the tears off her face. It still looked a little red from where he hit her.

"How's your eye?" 

"It's fine, it just stings a little," that was a lie, it hurt to blink.

"Maybe we should take you to get it checked out," she suggested.

"No, it's fine, I've gotten worse from him."

We went quiet. Her eyes welled up with more tears.

"I hate seeing him do this to you, Travis, you deserve better."

"Well, I am a filthy faggot, the lords hates my soul and I'm preparing myself for hell. I'm not gonna get anything better."

"You are not a faggot. Your sexuality is your choice, not Gods and not your fathers. I will always love whether you're gay or straight," her voice was firm.

I didn't believe it. If it was alright then why did all the bad things happen to me? Is this the lords punishment in life? Is this hell before death? When I didn't reply, she got up from the floor, kissed my forehead and left. As soon as she was gone, I pulled my notebook out from under my bed and opened it up. I thought of what happened today, how I had punched Sal. Sal, with his blue pigtails and his large plaster mask. I've always wanted to see his face, not to make fun of it but so I could... No I'm not gay, I'm not gay! I could feel myself blushing now. Why do I feel like this? I know his friend, Todd, has a boyfriend but I doubt that Sal likes boys. He probably hates me right now. I don't know why I do this to him but he never gets mad back. He never reports me or gets me into trouble, he just... lets me do it. He lets me hit him.

"Yeah, he'll never like you idiot," I murmured to myself.

I sighed and wrote down how I felt, I needed to get it out on paper. My pen flowed across the paper and I wrote everything. It would be for my eyes only, no one else's. I ripped the paper out of the book and stuffed it into my bag. I just hope it will be alright.


	3. Sally Face

"Does this bologna smell funny to you guys?"

I poked the sandwich filled with the disgusting looking meat. I don't understand how Chug could even eat this shit. Just looking at it made me feel queasy.

"I thought last weeks was a little off-putting but it seems to be worse this week," Todd pushed the plate away in disgust.

"I heard it's made from goat meat," Larry said. I rolled my eyes at his accusation.

"Didn't a bunch of kids call in sick the day after bologna day last week, too?" I remember it well, 2 people from our class weren't in school for 3 days.

"Aw, hey, you guys! Don't ruin lunch for me. Please! It's the only good part of the day," Chug said, his mouth full of sandwich.

"Group huddle?" I asked.

"I'm in."

"Me too!"

"Count me in."

"Have fun. I'm going to stay here with Chug," Maple said, pulling her grey hair out of her eyes.


	4. Travis

I walked into the bathroom. I looked at my stupid gay reflection, fighting the urge to smash the mirror. I took the paper out of my bag and read it again. Maybe I should give it to him. He probably won't know it's me but at least he'll know that someone has a crush on him. It'll be better if he never found out. Damn it Sally Face, you really have messed up my life. Fuck, who am I kidding? He probably hates my guts right now. I took my pen out and scribbled out the last part of the letter. No, I should just forget about all of this. I threw it at the bin, hoping it would go in. It missed and instead fell to the floor. Father was right, no one will ever love me. I locked myself in one of the stalls and cried, trying to stay as quiet as possible. I didn't want anyone finding me in here. I lightly touched my arm where one of my more previous bruises were. It hurt. I cried even more.

"You will burn in hell for this!" I could hear my dad shouting at me now. I'm a useless faggot. I'm nothing. My heartbeat got faster and my wrists were starting to itch. I pulled my sleeves down to reveal the ugly red scars left on my arm.

I was starting to wish I had picked the note up. If someone found it... No they wouldn't know. I'll probably be dead if they ever found out. If not by my father, then me. I dug around in my pocket until I found the small sharpener blade I had hidden in case I ever needed it. It had been almost a week since I last cut myself, it was something I needed. It was something that calmed me down when I got stressed out, which happened a lot. 

"You pathetic gay. God doesn't love you, no one loves you!" I ran the blade along my skin repeatedly. Blood seeped through the small cuts. It stung.

"Just kill yourself now. Face your punishment!"

I turned my arm so the inside of my wrist was facing me. It was simple and easy. I could just do it right here and no one would care about me at all. I was just a waste of space to everyone, including Sally Face. I can't believe I fucking bullied him. I'm such an idiot. My father will be over the moon to find out his faggot son is dead but I don't know how mom will feel. Maybe this will tell her to finally break up with that son of a bitch. I hope she understands. I put the blade on my wrist.

"Just do it. Your worth nothing. No one will cry for you!"

Come on Travis, it's one simple swipe and it'll be over. Don't wuss out. If you do, you'll just go back home to be beaten again for being worthless. For being fucking gay. You don't have to worry about your father ever again. Just get it over with. I pressed the blade down a little. It felt scary. I was finally gonna kill myself but now that I was about to do it the idea didn't sound so amazing anymore. Just as I was about to run the blade over my wrist to finish it off, the door to the bathrooms opened and someone walked in.


	5. Sally Face

I searched the boys toilets, hoping I would find something that would help, a paper clip or a pin maybe. I could see a crumpled up note on the ground next to the trash can. Looks like someone missed it. Wouldn't hurt to take a peek. I smoothed out the creases and read it.

'I know we don't really know each other and you probably have your opinions of me. I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different.

The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm crazy about you. I think you're amazing! But I know these feelings are wrong. It's not the way a boy should feel. Shame swallows me whole. My father would kill me but I can't live in his shadow forever I just...' 

There's a bunch of scribbles after, man. I held onto it, maybe a mystery for another day. I could hear quiet sniffles coming from one of the stalls.

"Anyone in there?" I asked.

"No, duh, fuckwad! Buzz off!" 

Travis? Why the hell is he crying?

"Travis? Were you crying a second ago?" 

"Sally Face! I- uh... No!"

I knew he was lying to me, something was wrong. But first I just needed to ask him.

"Why do you hate me and my friends? We never did anything to you," I needed to know.

"Because you're all faggots. God will never love any of you!" He exclaimed. It was actually kinda sad to hear him say that, especially when his voice broke.

"Not all of us are gay, you know. Except for Todd, Todd is super gay but that's just who he is and I'm happy for him," I was happy for him, ever since he met Neil he just seems so proud.

"Still though, God won't love any of you. He doesn't care about me."

I'm not super religious but I know how much it means to some people. I also know that many don't accept themselves because their God or Gods don't. I think that's whats wrong.

"Hey, if God loves all then I'm sure he loves you Travis," I reassured him.

"He doesn't! He will never love me because I'm... forget I said anything."

"Do you want to come out so we can talk about it? You'll feel better," I asked. He sounded as if he's having major issues with his beliefs. He's probably gonna say no and tell me to piss off.

"Fine," he sighed and unlocked the door. He stepped out of the stall and into the light of the toilets. I stared at his eye, it looked worse today.

"Talk to me about it. Why do you think God hates you?"

He suddenly blurted out a massive story about his life, how conflicted he feels about his beliefs and his reality and that he hates going home to see his dad. Everyone says that Mr Phelps is quite... intense, I can imagine that Travis would always feel uncomfortable around him.

"And everyday he just..." Travis put his hand to his eye.

"Wait, he did that to you?" 

I stared at him in absolute shock. His dad hit him? But why? Travis seems like a decent kid when he's actually being himself.

"Well, yeah but it wasn't that bad," he said, looking away from me.

"Do you have any other injuries?" I asked.

"N-no!" He stammered.

"I don't believe you."

He clenched his fists, then raised his shirt up. Bruises and cuts decorated his chest and stomach, there was a particularly large bruise on his side.

"Did he do this to you?"

"Yes, now can you drop it? The bells gonna go soon and your friends are probably worried," Travis pulled his shirt down. I stopped him.

"Show me your back!"

"What the hell? No!"

"Just do it."

He turned around and showed me his back. It was covered in dark red welts.

"This is so gay," Travis mumbled.

"Why does he do this?"

"He just does. He doesn't care about me, I'm just a waste of space," Travis held his head in his hands.

"No you're not Travis, you're..." His arm was bleeding," your arm."

"What?"

"Your arm's bleeding," Has he been cutting himself?

"And? What about it?"

"Dude, don't do that, it doesn't help at all."

"What the fuck are you on about?"

I sighed and rolled up my sleeves. The scars were still visible, even though it had been months since I had last done it.

"Trust me, I know it doesn't help," I said.

Larry had noticed something was wrong. He figured it out and helped me. 

"I didn't know you..."

"Well now you do Travis," I pulled my sleeves back down.

We sat in silence.

"Sal, I have to tell you something," the bell interrupted him. Damn, he had just gotten my attention.

"I'll give you my number so you can tell me later," I wrote it down for him and headed to the door.

"See ya around then," I walked out to class.


	6. Larry

Sal's been acting strange. He left the lab and didn't come back until the bell went. We all asked him where he had gone but he didn't want to talk about it. Since then he's just been quiet. I don't know what the hell happened during lunch but it made him... different. I might ask him when we get back to the apartments but Ash told me to leave him for now, that he'll open up about it when he wants to. I'm just worried about him. It's always concerning when he goes quiet, the last time he did I found his arm covered in cuts. I want him to be alright. He's like a brother to me.

"So how's Neil?"

"Oh he's fine, I hung out with him yesterday after school and it was alright," Todd said.

We were all so happy when we found out Todd had a boyfriend. Ash and Sal had been guessing for a while and basically tackled him when Todd told us. Neil is just awesome, I'm glad we all met him.

"Earth to Larry!" Ash waved her hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I looked up at them

"You alright?" Todd asked.

"Yeah I'm good. Not so sure about Sal though."

"I know. I don't want to ask him, he seemed quite uncomfortable earlier," Ash said.

"True, I'm just worried."

"He'll be fine. I mean, he's Sally Face, he's never let anything bring him down."

I'm just not sure any more


	7. Ash

I understand why Larry is so worried about Sal, it was strange to see him so quiet after lunch. We all don't know why he's gone like this but I don't wanna press for answers. That'll just seem unfair. I have told Larry to back away from Sal a little. He seems more like his bodyguard than his friend. I know that Sal definitely doesn't like it. I know he's just protecting his friend, which is fair enough, but it just gets kinda... annoying after a while. I mean, all the times I've had moments with Sal that have been interrupted by Larry because he can't leave his side for a minute. It doesn't help that Travis has been beating up Sal more and more. Honestly, I don't know what the hell is wrong with that guy. Sal just puts up with him and that really gets under my skin when he does. Travis just walks all over him. I wish he'd just drop dead. I just don't understand Sal when it comes to Travis. Why does he let himself get beaten up and taunted like this? It's heartbreaking to see it happen, especially when I can't do anything to stop it. I'm just the person who picks him up when he falls down, not the one who catches him before he does. I want things to be different. I want all of us to be happy, I think we deserve it. Have a day where we can just be normal for once. Not that I don't like the adventures we have but soon they'll lead to one of us getting hurt and I don't want that to happen. I want to be safe. I want there to be a day where we can all finally breathe properly.

"Ash! It's time to eat!" mom called up to me.

"I'm coming," I shout back.

I put my pencil down and followed the smell of food. I'm just glad that it's not that god damn bologna, the stuff is just horrible. We got more samples today but Todd hasn't seen anything wrong with it yet, it just smelt like rotting shit for an hour.

"So, anything exciting happened today?" She asked, serving me food.

"No, not really. Just a math paper and bologna for lunch."

"They're still serving that stuff? Let me guess, Packerton is still there?" mom's face twisted in disgust.

"Yeah, to both questions," I smiled in amusement. How long had the old dinosaur been working there for?

"Ugh, I hated her! She was such a bitch to me and Lisa. One time she gave me detention for yawning. I mean, I had gone to bed late the night before so obviously I'd be tired!"

"I know right! She had a go at one kid just for standing up to sharpen his pencil," the list of detentions is pretty much endless. She shouted at me for supposedly doodling during her lesson but I never mentioned that to my mom.

"How is Sal? I heard his father and Lisa have gotten to know each other better."

My mom and Lisa have been friends since high school, they were inseparable until Larry's dad disappeared.

"Yeah," I leaned in closer," Do you think it's going to happen?"

"I hope so, they both deserve happiness especially after everything that has happened to them."

We both giggled quietly as my brother walked in.

"What are you two laughing at?" he mumbled.

"Girl stuff," mom said, putting a plate in front of him as he sat down opposite me. He was only two years younger than me but he was growing fast.

"How was your day?" Mom asked him.

"Alright," was his blunt answer.

He turned back to his tiny phone which both mom and dad had decided he should finally have. I don't think he's turned away from it since christmas. Mom rolled her eyes at me, I held back a laugh. 

"Could you put that dang thing down for a minute before you spill something on yourself!" she said loudly, which startled him. A piece of food he had been balancing on his fork fell onto his lap.

"What the hell, mom!" He shouted as me and her both laughed loudly.

"That's your own fault," she said.

"No it isn't!" He argued back.

She suddenly stopped laughing and her face went serious.

"Oh shiiit," I said in a low voice.

"You know what happens when you argue back," mom put her hand on his shoulder.

"Mom, please don't..."

"Knuckle sandwich!" She wrapped one of her arms around his neck gently and rubbed her knuckles on his head.

"Ah, mom! Stop it, seriously!" he pushed her away.

"That's what you get, now eat your dinner," she sat down at the end of the table.

We were quiet for a few minutes, then we heard the front door open.

"Hey, guys! Have I missed anything?" Dad walked into the room, a massive grin on his face.

"Only the start of dinner," mom said, not looking up at him.

The smile on his face dimmed slightly but he managed to hold himself together. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. It's been like this for a few months now. Mom and dad aren't exactly friendly anymore. It's quite hard for them to keep their cool in arguments. It turns into a screaming fest quickly but I've learned to block it out with music and art. I'm working on a picture of sal I took ages ago with my camera. Hopefully he'll like it.

"So Ash, how was you're day at school?" Dad asked, trying to diffuse the awkwardness.

"Pretty boring. We had a maths paper and that was it."

"That's good."

God, I wish I was with Maple right now. She asked me to go to her house after school but I had said no because I knew dad would be home earlier today. I wanted to at least be awake when he entered the house but now I kinda wish I'd said yes. It would be way better than this. We usually work on our art projects together but recently we've been talking more and more. She's really cool.

"I'm done," my brother got up from the table and walked out, leaving his dish behind. Mom sighed and picked it up. I also stood up but unlike my brother I put my dish in the sink. I then ran up to my room and jumped onto my bed. I picked up my pencil and continued with my drawing of Sal. Mom and Dad are already shouting at each other downstairs but I just ignore them. It's just me and my drawing. That's all I need.


	8. Sally Face

I had entered the apartment a few hours ago to find a letter from my dad.

'Sal,

Out of town for the night. Lots of work to get done. Food in the fridge for you and make sure Gizmo stays out of trouble. 

See you tomorrow,

Dad.'

I was kinda pissed off that he hadn't told me earlier but at least he was doing work and not drowning himself in booze like he used to before we moved to Nockfell. Right now the tv was on but I wasn't really paying attention to it. I had my guitar in my hands and was gently strumming the strings. I looked up at Gizmo, who was watching the tv, and grinned.

"So, what do you think then?"

He meowed back, not looking away from the screen. He was even holding the remote in his paw. I'm pretty certain Gizmo is just a human who got trapped in a cats body and decided to get used to it. He even collects these little sticker with random pictures on them. I like the one with the green eye on it. It's pretty cool. 

"Thanks bud," I placed my guitar by the sofa and stood up. I reached for the remote but he hissed at me. I backed away.

"Jeez, sour puss, no need to get so worked up," damn this cat is weird.

I went into my room and looked at my phone. There was a message from an unknown number. Must be Travis.

'Sal can we talk? Properly, not over text.'

'Okay, sure, where'd you wanna meet?'

It took a minute for him to reply.

'The park. There's something there that I wanna show you.'

Ooo. Interesting.

'See you there in like... 10 mins.'

'Ok.'

I grabbed my jacket and put it on. The sun was setting, it would still be light when I saw him. Gizmo still hadn't moved from his spot. 

"I'm heading out Gizmo, I think you know how to feed yourself," I wouldn't be surprised if he could, last week I found him in the bath wearing a fucking shower cap. 

He gave a low meow back and with that I left the apartment. I was hoping that Larry wouldn't notice me leaving. I didn't really want to see him right now. I don't think I will though. Lisa always wants him to stay in the apartment once he's gets back. He only goes to the tree house when he wants time away from his room. Luckily, I didn't see him and got to the park without seeing anyone I knew. I got some strange looks from people as I walked by but I'm getting used to those stares now. I arrived at the park and saw Travis instantly, sitting by a tree. I approached him.

"Hey Travis..." I went quiet when I realised that he was crying.

He turned to me in surprise and quickly wiped away his tears.

"Oh, hey Sally Face," he mumbled.

I sat next to him, he shuffled away a little.

"So why'd you want to talk to me?" That's when i noticed the massive cut on his cheek.

"What the hell?" I cupped his face in my hands so I could have better look. He blushed.

"It's nothing," he said, pushing my hands away.

"Did he do it again?"

Travis nodded, more tears forming in his eyes. He winced as a tear fell from his bruised eye and onto his cut.

"What happened?"

"I don't really... Okay fine but you can't tell anyone," he said, glaring at me.

"I won't," I wanted to but for now I was gonna promise that I wouldn't.

He stopped for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, then started to speak.

"The day was going fine. I had done my homework, written some stuff down. My mom then called me down and then it all started to happen. He first got pissed off at me for basically no reason and when my mom tried to stop him, he pushed her away. Then he hit me and it got worse. He was shouting these insults at me and..." he didn't say anything else.

"What did he say to you?"

He sighed.

"He called me a faggot."

My eyes widened with shock. It makes so much sense now. That's why he's so homophobic, his dad is forcing those beliefs on him.

"But I'm not gay. At least I don't think I am."

"Well that's not for your dad to decide. You think about it. You might find out some stuff about yourself that you never knew before."

"I don't really want to find anything else. I'm already going to hell," Travis stared at his hands.

"You're not going to hell."

"Yeah, and how do you know that?" he frowned at me.

"I just do. You're not a bad person Travis," I picked at the grass.

"You say that but I distinctly remember that I'm the guy who punched you."

"And? I don't care if you hit me, you have a real reason."

"Quite a pathetic reason, if you ask me."

"Your dad hits you, I don't think that's a bad reason for being insecure," I couldn't believe it. Did he really think that he didn't matter?

"Okay, let's just drop it. I need to show you something else," he stood up and held his hand out to me. I took it.

He blushed as I pushed myself up from the ground. 

"F-Follow me," he snatched his hand back.

It was quiet as we walked into the small wood that people always avoided. The sunlight that hit the trees was golden, I could feel it shining on my hair.

"I visit this place often when my dad gets mad. I escape through my window but honestly if I broke my leg, it would be worth it just to see this place," he spoke fondly of it. It must be nice.

"It sounds cool," I said, stepping over a branch that had fallen.

"Okay and we're here," we stopped at a small stream.

When he said that this place was worth seeing, that was an understatement. It was beautiful. The sun reflected off the water making it look like a rainbow. Birds flew from one tree to another, communicating through chirps. It was just quiet. 

"Jeez, you weren't kidding," I looked around, taking it all in.

"I never would, even if it does seem too good to be real," Travis knelt down and put his hand in the stream.

"Yeah and the park is probably one of the most dingiest places in Nockfell."

"A diamond in the rough," he took his hand out of the water and started shaking it.

I laughed at him, cringing at his words.

"Hey, shut up, I couldn't think of any other way to describe it!" He flicked some water at me.

The drops landed on my mask, I wiped them off carefully. Travis sat down on a rock nearby. He watched me, intrigue filling his eyes.

"You know, you don't have to wear your mask around me," he said.

"I don't think you'd want to see what's underneath."

"But I do. I want to see your real face, Sal."

I sat next to him.

"Okay, but only for a bit," I didn't want anyone seeing.

My hands shook a little as I took my mask off, unbuckling the straps slowly. My face was red as I pulled it away and placed it on the ground. Everything just seemed to stop. The birds had gone silent, the wind had dropped and it was just quiet. Travis's eyes were wide. God, this was so embarrassing. He put his hands to my face and started touching my scars. I blushed even more when he traced one that went from the corner of my lip to my eye. He looked mesmerised by them, as if he could never look away. Then he whispered words that I never thought I would hear:

"Beautiful."

He then blushed as well. We were just a huge blushing red mess. He didn't let go of my face though, he still had his hand on my cheek. He was stroking me using his thumb and strangely I wanted him to. I liked the feeling of his hands, warm and smooth. They made me feel a little more... attractive some how. Travis leaned forward a little and I found myself following his movements. Then I was kissing him. I didn't even know what was happening but I didn't want it to stop. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me, he did the same. We then separated and I've never felt so disappointed in my life. I grazed my nose against his.

"What the fuck just happened?" he whispered, his breath was hot and sweet on my lips.

"I don't know but..."

"But what?"

"I don't know!" we both laughed.

"This is soooo gay!" he said, a smile still on his face.

"What's wrong with that?"

He pushed me away.

"There's a lot wrong with it!"

His face was filled with anger and sadness. I felt bad for saying that to him, I know his dad makes him believe that homosexuality is bad, but Travis is just gay and there's nothing wrong with it.

"I have to go..." He started to walk away.

"Travis, wait!"

"I have to go!" he ran off, leaving me alone by the stream.


	9. Travis

What the fuck just happened? I ran back to my house, my legs barely holding me up. I can't believe he just let me kiss him. I can't believe that I even wanted to kiss him! Why is my head to fucked up? I arrived outside my window and started climbing the old ladder that I had put there. Father never noticed it was there so it made escaping from my room when he locked me in pretty easy. All I had to do was carefully drop from the window on the way down and climb the ladder on the way up. Dad was never this bad before. He was always nicer to me than he was to my mom. I still hated him though. I had to nurse my mothers wounds whenever he got to her first. All she does is cry now and I don't blame her for that. It's the only thing she can really do now, cry and just hope that his anger simmers down before it's too late. She stopped relying on the Lord ages ago. I could hear muffled wailing coming from my room, must be mom.

"Mom?" I peered into the room. She was sat on the floor, calling my name through sobs. She looked up when she heard my voice.

"Travis! Oh thank God!" She rushed over and helped me in.

"I'm okay mom, just a few little scratches," my hand felt the large cut on my face. I'd get plaster for it later.

"I was worried sick! Where were you?" she hugged me tightly.

"At the park with a friend," I said, hugging her back.

"A friend, huh? Care to tell me about this little friend of yours?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes and gently pushed her away.

"Just a boy from school."

"A boy?" A small grin appeared on her face. 

"I'm not gay!" 

"I never said that you were, Travis. Now tell me about this boy," she sat down cross-legged on the floor.

"He's called Sal and he's pretty nice even if I..." my voice trailed off. Should I tell her about it?

"Even if what?"

I sighed and decided I should.

"Mom, promise not to get mad?" I held my pinkie finger out to her.

"I never would Travis," she linked her own around mine.

"I kinda bullied him for a while. I felt horrible about it. I hated doing it but I thought at the time that if I did then dad would at least stop calling me a faggot." I stared at the floor. I'm so stupid.

"Travis... you may have been horrible but at least you have realised that you were acting that way and stopped it. You're now his friend which is just amazing," she patted my shoulder.

I decided to leave out the part about the kiss. Jeez, my heart was still pounding because of that kiss. What the fuck was Sal Fisher doing to me? 

"Yeah that's good. I don't think his friends will be as accepting as he is. They think I'm a homophobic ass hole and I understand why," I sighed, a sudden feeling of dread washing over me. I kissed Sal, if his friends found out... shit.

"Your father pushed that belief onto you. It's not you who's the problem here. Don't blame yourself, you do that all the time and it breaks my heart to see you so defenceless," she put her hand on my cheek reassuringly.

She was right. I was weak, Sal found my weakness the other day. That's why I punched him.

'You kiss your daddy with that mouth?' That was what he had said. He mentioned dad. It makes sense now. God, I'm such a fucking idiot!

I froze up. Did I just use the Lord's name in... distaste? Nevermind that now! I had a lot more to worry about. I'm going to hell already for kissing a boy so who the fuck cares? Not me, that's for certain.

"I'm so sorry he does this to you, Travis," she whispered.

"It's not your fault. Where is he now?"

"He went back to the church. More 'official business' apparently. What a joke," she scoffed.

I was surprised by how disgusted her tone was. I knew she hated the church but she never talked about it that much in that way. 

"He won't be back until late, he usually stays there for quite a long time."

"Huh, we're free of him for a while. That's good," it was, it truly was.

"Use you time wisely," she stood up and walked away, leaving me to think about what happened.

Mom closed the door behind her. I felt bad for her, she got the worst of it from dad. I would usually escape to my room before the situation escalated and it made me feel horrible. I have seen her with very bad bruises, some worse than mine. It was always hard for her to stand up or sit straight because of the large cuts on her back and he almost broke her arm once. I sat on the sidelines and did nothing. Shit, I shouldn't be thinking of that now. While it hurt me so much to stop worrying about my mother, for once I needed to think of myself, if only for a minute. What would happen now? I kissed Sal and he probably doesn't want to speak to me again. I fucking messed up bad this time.


	10. Sally Face

I fucking messed up bad this time. I can't believe I did that to him when he's clearly confused and probably scared. I was lying in bed, staring into the darkness. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want another nightmare. All I could think about was Travis, his blonde hair shining in the golden sunlight, his smooth hands tracing my scars. I couldn't believe I took my mask off in front of him, right now it was laying on my bedside table. Travis was different to Ash. I had a crush on her for ages but she just felt like a sister to me. Travis... it feels like I can't fucking breathe when I'm around him. It started about a month ago and it hasn't gone away. When we kissed, it felt like fireworks were exploding in my body. I loved it. I want to feel like that again so bad. I want to kiss him again. Larry and the others will probably hate me for this but right now I don't care. They don't own me. I'm not sure about Maple and Chug but I don't want them to know. None of them can know how much I like Travis. I pretty sure he doesn't like me back, especially after that stunt I pulled in the woods. He probably won't want to talk to me. Should I message him?


	11. Travis

I want him to message me. I want him here with me right now. I just want to show him how much I love him and... No! I'm not gay, am I?


	12. Sally Face

No, messaging him seems too needy. I just want to talk to him and explain myself. I probably made him feel uncomfortable as hell. I'm such an idiot. It was getting lighter outside. How long have I been awake for? I looked at my clock. Jesus, it was almost 5 in the morning. I have school as well and I can't really bunk off because Larry's always waiting for me. I can't sleep though. I don't want another fucking nightmare. I sit up and put my mask on. There's no point in me going to sleep now. Gizmo had fallen asleep on the sofa and the tv had been turned off. I don't understand how he does that. Dad should be back today. At least he's doing work. When we still lived in Jersey after mom died and I got the mask, he would be off his face all the time. I had to stay away from him because he would shout at me a lot. I guess I reminded him of mom because of the mask. At the time he was a depressed piece of shit, he always seemed suicidal to me as I grew up. Then he just stopped and we moved to Nockfell. Since then he's been better, he's even talking to Lisa quite a bit. Me and Larry joke about them getting married and us becoming step bros but we just gotta wait and see. I think there's something real special there between them. Dad always has to stay somewhere over night for work so I'm used to staying home by myself. 

"Yeah, he's pretty much out once every week so you just had to get used to it," the more spiteful part of my head thought. I pushed it away.

Fucking hell. I can't believe the shit that has happened recently. What happened in the bathroom, the kiss in the woods. God, that fucking kiss. I still can't stop thinking about it. Just the feeling of him was amazing. I don't know what I'm gonna do now but I'm sure I'll figure it out. 

"But this is different," the anxious part of my head stepped forward with it's own opinion,"you've never kissed a boy before. How can you 'figure it out' this time?"

I don't even understand what is going on anymore. I'm just super confused right now. Maybe I could talk to Todd about this, he is gay after all and he has a boyfriend himself. I don't have to tell him it's Travis making me feel this way. Everything will be fine, won't it?


	13. Todd

"I didn't get anymore results," I told the others. They stared back with disappointed expressions.

"But how? The bologna in this school is weird as shit, I mean there must've been something," Ash said, crossing her arms.

"Well, nothing showed up. You guys said that Packerton supplied the school with the bologna, didn't you?"

"Yeah but-"

"I've heard some crazy shit happening in her apartment. Maybe you should investigate."

"I swear, my first day in the apartments, I heard a fucking goat in there," Sal said.

"Ha! I was right. This crap is made of goats!" Larry exclaimed.

"We can't be sure but you two should go in and have a look around," I pointed at Sal and Larry.

"I'm fine with that," Larry said. Sal stayed silent.

"Okay, I need to find Neil, he wants to show me something before class starts," I gathered my stuff and started to walk off. As I walked down the corridor, sal ran up next to me.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Um... What's it like going out with Neil?" He asked.

"It's good. Why'd you ask?"

"Well, there may be someone who isn't... a girl ," he said quietly.

"Care to specify who?" I asked.

"Not really, you guys would probably hate me if I told you who."

"Let me guess... Is it Travis?"

"How the hell did you know?" he looked at me, absolutely bewildered.

"You stare at him all the time, you never report him even when punches you, the list is endless really," I could go on but I decided not to.

"Do the others know?"

"No and you don't want them to, do you?"

"Not really, do you mind?"

"While it is kinda cliché to crush on your bully, I couldn't care less. If you like him then I won't stop you," I said.

"Larry probably would," I couldn't tell if he was smiling or not.

"Well, Larry can be a massive idiot sometimes. Just don't listen to him, he'll drop it eventually."

"Anyways, I'll leave you to talk to your boyfriend now. See ya later," he ran back to the group. I laughed to myself and left to go find Neil.


	14. Ash

Sal's been acting even weirder today. He's just gone completely quiet. He doesn't speak unless one of us addresses him directly and even then he gives us real blunt answers. I'm worried about him but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable by questioning him about it. It would make me feel like shit. I told Larry that he'll open up eventually but I'm not sure, Sal's good at keeping stuff to himself. A few months ago, Larry found him in his room cutting himself. It broke my heart to hear that he was doing that. We were lucky to find out so quick otherwise it would've gotten worse and he'd probably be in hospital for it. He stopped it and hasn't done anything since. I just hope it stays that way. I don't think he's up for another investigation right now. I'll talk to him later, just to see how he's feeling. Maybe he'll tell me what's bothering him then.

"Hey Ash, are you okay?"

I looked up at Todd and Neil, they both looked extremely happy about something.

"Yeah I'm fine, just thinking about Sal," I sighed.

Neil raised his eyebrows at me.

"Not in that way, you weirdo," I punched him on the shoulder gently.

"Hey! I wasn't gonna say anything," he put his hands up.

"Yes you were, smart ass," I frowned," but I'm just worried about him. He's been acting strange."

"Maybe we should ask," Neil said.

"No, just give him some time. He'll come to terms with his thoughts soon," Todd replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He's obviously quite conflicted about something, give him space and he'll tell you when he's ready. If he doesn't, then just leave him," he said.

"Hmm... What do you know?" he knew something we didn't.

"I don't know anything about it, I just understand how it feels to be having an inner conflict about something. I didn't say anything until I was sure I was right."

I felt kinda bad for not realising what he meant. I'm so stupid.

"You're right. God, I'm such an ass hole," I mentally punched myself.

"You're not Ash, you just didn't get it. Give Sal time to think about whatever's going on and I'm sure he'll tell you if anything is wrong."

It would be fine. Everything will be fine. I think.


	15. Travis

I can feel him staring at me. Before, I would hate it when he looked at me but now it feels... good. The kiss yesterday was unexpected but it was a nice surprise and thinking about it now makes me smile. I know I'm not gay but this boy just makes me feel so much. I just need to get away for a minute. I walk into the bathroom and once again lock myself in a stall. I need to think for a while. I kissed him yesterday, he kissed me back. What on earth do we do now? I think I should just talk to him later. Yeah, I will. We'll just put whatever is going on between us to rest. The door to the bathroom opens and someone walks in.

"Don't tell me your cutting yourself again," the person from the other side said.

"What the hell? Sal, I'm not... What're you doing here?" I panicked.

"Just came to talk. You gonna come out of there?" 

"No, not this time. I'd rather you not see me right now," I said.

"Why not? I want to see you," he replied.

"I'm a bit of a mess as you can tell. Yesterday was... quite surprising," I needed to talk to him about it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have kissed you, I crossed a boundary I didn't need to go near."

"It's fine Sal, I actually kinda enjoyed it..." I just said it. I literally just said it.

"Same here! I liked it as well," he said quickly.

"We're both a big mess, aren't we," I laughed quietly.

"Yeah, so much has happened," he said.

We didn't say anything for a while. There was nothing more to be said.

"If you won't come out, can I come in?"

I could feel myself blushing.

"Sure," I unlocked the door. He walked in and locked it. Then he hugged me.

"I'm glad we're okay now," he said. I blushed even more.

"Yeah same here," I hugged him back.

"I really like you Travis. I've felt it for a while but I never really came to terms with it until yesterday when I found you in here."

"I do as well. I'm kinda glad you found me that day, I was gonna..." my voice trailed off. 

"You were gonna what?" he asked, looking up at me.

"I was... I was gonna kill myself that day. I had it all planned but you walked in just as I was about to do it. I'm just so happy you did," I didn't want to look at him.

"How long have you felt that way?" he asked.

"A really long time. The idea didn't really appeal to me until that day but I had been thinking of suicide for a while."

It occurred to me about 3 months ago that I actually had control over my own death. I could bring it closer to me. Even if suicide is a sin, it was something I wanted and God couldn't stop me. I still have the small cut from when I pressed down on my skin with the blade. It stings.

"Do you still feel like that?"

"Not really, I guess home is still pretty bad but my dad has been going out to the church more often so me and mom have time to ourselves to recover."

"I wish he'd stop hurting you, how's your back doing? The last time I looked it was bad," Sal gently ran his hand down my back, making me shiver.

"It's fine, it... uh- still hurts but it's not as bad... now."

"That's good," he still hadn't let go of me. I didn't want him to let go. I wanted to stay like this forever.

"I want to kiss you again," he said suddenly.

"I do too!" I said.

We both laughed.

"Why don't we then?" he said between giggles.

I started to take his mask off. Holy fuck, his face looks even better than the first time I saw it. I leaned into him and our lips connected. It felt... amazing. Like the only thing that mattered right now was us. Like everything we had ever felt about each other was showing through this kiss. I didn't care about anything around us. I just wanted him so bad and I was finally getting him. I was happy. I didn't want this moment to ever end but I knew it had to. But for now, I was going to enjoy it. His thumb is stroking the back of my neck, I shiver again. We separate and I hear him laugh.

"What so funny?" I ask.

"Oh nothing. You taste like pizza," he said.

"Shut up! I haven't eaten pizza in ages, I don't even like it that much!"

"I know. It's just that pizza is my favourite."

He leans toward my neck and gently kisses it. I freeze up.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

He continues. The feeling of his lips on my skin is just... shit, it's like a fucking dream. My hearts beating faster than it ever has before. I put my hand on the back of his head and keep it there. 

"Holy shit, Sal..." I say. I blushed, I wasn't meant to say that out loud.

He laughed again, his breath was hot against my neck. This was so blissful, I didn't care if it was a sin to like boys. I fucking love Sal and God can't stop me. This was like heaven on earth. 

... 

DRING! DRING! DRING!

We both jumped in surprise. 

"Damn, the bell... Fuck! We have maths now," he said, pulling away. I tried not to let my disappointment show.

"Bloody Packerton. I'm surprised she isn't dead yet. I mean, how old is she?" I said. 

"Who knows? She could be 2 hundred and even then she'd still be able to walk," he put his mask back on and unlocked the stall. We both walked out.

"Well, let's get it over with," I said.

"I gotta go find the others to show I've not been kidnapped or killed," he said," see you in maths."

He ran out of the bathroom. I touched my neck where he kissed me. I could feel something there. I looked in the mirror.

"Oh shit..."


	16. Sally Face

"Jesus Christ, what's that on Travis's neck?" Ash said.

I looked at Travis. His face was red and he was trying to cover something up. 

"Looks like a massive love bite to me," Larry smirked.

Shit, was that me? I didn't mean to kiss him that hard. He glances at me and blushes even more. Honestly this mask is a blessing sometimes because if they saw my face right now they'd be confused as fuck by my shock and embarrassment. 

"Sal, are you alright?" 

Ash was watching me carefully, concern filling her eyes.

"Don't worry, Ash, I'm fine," I told her.

"It's hard to tell with you. Your mask makes you look so stoic," she touched my mask. Her face slowly went red as I turned away from her.

"S-sorry," she mumbled.

"It's cool," I said.

"But seriously though, who the fuck would give Travis a hickey?" Larry said," he's a homophobic shit head. Who'd love him?"

"It's not impossible Larry, there probably is someone out there," Todd said. He looked at me for a second.

"Yeah right, he's just..."

"Could we just drop it?" I said. 

"Jeez, okay Sal," Larry said.

"Was that really necessary Sal?" Ash frowned at me.

"I just... You wouldn't understand Ash," I said.

"You say that but I know a lot more than you think," she argued back.

"This is different Ash."

"How?"

"That's what you wouldn't fucking understand!"

"Okay, why are you suddenly sticking up for Travis? He punched you Sal! He called you a faggot!"

"We're not any better than him! We call him a bunch of shit as well guys and I've fucking had enough," I said.

"I can't fucking believe you Sal! I knew I should've stayed with Maple and Chug," she pushed past me and stormed off.

Larry and Todd were staring at me in absolute shock.

"What the hell are you guys looking at?" I said.

"Jesus, Sal, what's up with you? You've changed," Larry said, he turned and walked away.

"I guess I'll see you around then," Todd ran to catch up with Larry.

What the fuck just happened? I couldn't believe I just did that.

"Sal?" I looked up at Travis.

"I'm sorry I did that to you. Your fucking dad is probably gonna notice and..." I sighed.

"It's fine. I heard everything. I'm sorry, I'm ruining you friendships with the others." his voice cracked.

"It's not you, it's them," I could see tears falling from his eyes.

"No, I just... You don't have to stand up for me if it's gonna affect you and your friends," he said, rubbing his eyes.

"They're being absolute assholes. Also Todd knows that I like you so he was trying to help me," I put my arms around him.

"He does? Well, he is going out with that Neil guy, isn't he?"

"You know about Neil and Todd?"

"They make it obvious. I'm just happy for him, they're both perfect for each other."

I smiled but he couldn't see. 

"You want to go to the woods?" He asked.

"Sure," I said.

He took hold of my hand and together we walked away.


	17. Todd

"Like what the fuck is he even on about? How are we just as bad as Travis? We aren't homophobic, are we?"

We were sitting in Larry's room. Ash had gone back to Maple and Chug and right now Larry is really pissed off. They both didn't understand what Sal was going through.

"I just fucking hate Travis. He such an ass hole, I mean, he punched Sal and-"

"Larry shut the fuck up for a minute and listen to me!" I said.

He stopped and looked up at me.

"You both really don't understand how he's feeling right now. You're not helping at all by just complaining."

"What do you mean? If he fucking told us what was wrong maybe he'd find out that we do," he said.

"That's the thing. He doesn't want to tell you. Just leave him alone and maybe over time he'll tell you," I replied.

"How do you know this Todd?"

"He told me and I promised I wouldn't say anything."

"What did he tell you?"

"Did you just hear what I said. I'm not saying anymore."

"Come one Todd, why not?"

"I'm only saying that he has some pretty conflicting feelings for someone and he doesn't really want your input. Or Ash's," that's all I needed to say to get him to back off.

"I... okay, if he's not ready then I'll leave him alone." 

Okay, that was a little too easy. I know Ash was also telling him to leave Sal alone but Larry is usually quite a determined guy so letting things go is pretty hard for him. He still has his old Sanity's Fall t-shirt even though it doesn't fit him and he has a new one. Also kind of shows how much of a true fan he is.

"I just feel bad for Ash, I don't get why he got so pissed off at her."

"She was asking questions he didn't want to answer. You remember when I used to do that?" 

"Jesus, you know a lot about this kinda thing don't you?"

"Well, Sal is going through the same thing really," I said.

"You saying he's gay or something?"

"No, I don't think he's gay, he's probably bi," I said," what about you?"

"Hey, you know that I like Ash. No speculation needed," he said.

"You never know."

"This isn't about me, this is about Sal. I'm just worried about him," Larry sighed.

"He doesn't want you to worry. Even after what happened, he still cares about all of us."

"I know, it's just that the last time he didn't tell us what was bothering him he was-"

"Cutting himself, yes I remember. I felt horrible that I couldn't stop it as well you know."

"I don't want him to do that again," he said.

We didn't say anything else for a while.

"Travis cuts himself too," I said.

"What?"

"He cuts himself, I saw it during science when rolled up his sleeves. I guess he just forgot but he realised immediately and pulled them back down again," I remember, the scars were red and ugly and they criss crossed up and down his arm.

"Probably does it for attention," Larry muttered.

"Then why haven't other people noticed yet? People who do it for attention let others know they do it but no one else has mentioned it yet. He does his best to hide it as well," I said.

"He has no reason to do that to himself though."

"Where do you think he gets the black eye from?"

"Didn't he say he fell off his bike?"

"I don't think he's stupid enough to fall off his bike 5 times in a row. I think that bruise is one of the reasons he cuts himself."

"Why the hell are we talking about him anyways?"

"Yeah I should probably go now," I stood up to leave," bye Larry."

"See ya dude."


	18. Travis

He was still crying. I had my arms around him, whispering reassuring words into his ear. I know how much Sal's friends mean to him, I understand why he's so upset. I had one friend who I was really close with when I was younger. A little too close for my dad's liking, he basically forced me away from him. I couldn't stay around him but he didn't understand what my dad did to me. The cuts on my back were so large that it hurt to lie down and stand up. 

"It's the first argument we've ever had. I'm scared Travis. I can't lose them all now," Sal said. He had taken his mask off, it was lying in his lap. 

"You won't lose them, you just have to explain why you don't feel comfortable telling them. You'll probably be friends again tomorrow," I pulled him closer to me and kissed his forehead.

"I just want things to be okay. I want you to be safe, I want all of us to be happy together. I want you guys to get along," he slid his arms around my neck.

"I'd make things worse," I muttered.

"Maybe things wouldn't be so bad if you told them why you hit me," he stopped when he saw the look on my face," no, sorry that was a shit idea."

"It's fine, I don't think they would believe me anyways," I said.

"I'll back you up," he gave me a quick kiss.

"Thanks," I whispered, resting my forehead against his.

"You'll be alright Travis. I know it."


	19. Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some girl chat.

I can't fucking believe it. Why is Sal sticking up for some prick who doesn't give a damn about him? Travis is just an ass hole and I fucking hate him for everything he has done to me and my friends. Sal says that I don't understand but I know a lot more than he thinks. Then he gets pissed off at me for trying to help. All because he stuck up for Travis. Sally Face, I don't understand you at all. I thought I did but maybe not. I just wish...

"You okay Ash?" Maple said.

I smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'm fine, just thinking about what happened earlier," I replied.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, I'm sure you'll sort it out tomorrow. I know you like Sal a lot."

"Yeah but I'm not sure if he thinks of me more as a sister or something. I mean, I don't mind being given the title of 'like a sister' but I don't think it's enough," I continued drawing my picture of Sal. It was going pretty well, albeit a few mistakes that I can fix later.

"Maybe that's what you're meant to be. Being a sister is probably way better than being a girlfriend anyways," she continued with her drawing as well.

"Also how are you and Chug going? Anything happened yet?"

"Well... maybe," she said, her face flushing pink.

"Ooo, need details!" I scooted closer to her.

"Yesterday, I went to his apartment and I kissed him," she smiled. 

"Oh my god, finally!" I exclaimed.

"I know right. I can't believe it myself."

"So what does this mean? Are you two a thing now?" 

She paused for a bit.

"I think so," she whispered.

"Yes! I fucking knew it! I'm so happy for you guys," I said.

"Thanks Ash," she said.

I looked back at the paper in front of me. Maybe she was right about me and Sal, that we would work better as friends. That is if we are friends tomorrow. I don't even get why we argued earlier. Maybe I was upset because he wouldn't tell us what was wrong. Or because he helped Travis. Man, I feel a little bad for Travis though. I have to admit that we aren't exactly nice to him either and I wish for things to be different but it doesn't give him an excuse to punch Sal and call him a faggot. Todd told me about what Travis does to himself and it was only confirmed when I caught him with his sleeves up. I remember that day so clearly. I had been walking to my next class and I entered a corridor that was empty apart from one person. I rounded the corner and saw him on his knees with the sleeves of his purple jumper rolled up to reveal ugly scars that ran up and down his arm. He saw me looking, shoved the small blade back in his pocket, tugged his sleeves back down and stood up. He whispered something to me as he walked past.

"If you tell anyone, you're dead. Bitch."

I shivered, not because of what he said but because of the cuts on his arm. I didn't dare tell anyone because of how bad they looked. I know some people like to keep shit to themselves and this is the one time when I actually kept something secret even though I knew I should've told someone. Also it's his own fault if he does that to himself. He chooses to do it and I can't stop him. I don't know if anyone other than me and Todd knows but my lips are sealed. I can't risk there being anymore bad blood between us even if I do hate him a lot. I don't think Larry should find out, he'd probably over react. I have the slightest feeling that Sal knows which is why he stood up for Travis earlier. Anyways I shouldn't worry about this now, I need to...

"If I were you, I'd give Larry a shot. It's so obvious that he likes you," Maple said, breaking my train of thought.

"You think so?"

I know that Larry and Maple briefly dated in the past, I'm not sure for how long. She still acts a little smitten around him but I know her heart belongs to Chug.

"Oh I know so, the way he looks at you when you speak. There's no denying that he likes you Ash," she giggled.

"Come on, there's no way he does, we're just friends," I tried pushing the thought of Larry away but now thinking about the idea of him liking me is just... weird. But it sounds kinda nice.

"When have I ever been wrong Ash?"

I wanted to say 'a lot of times' but I didn't want to burst her bubble. Maybe I should let go of my small crush on Sal. I think we'd be way better as friends anyways.


	20. Travis

I quietly closed the door behind me, secretly hoping that mom was home and father wasn't. I made my way up to my room and lay on my bed, thinking about my time in the woods with Sal. We spent most of it in silence but I held onto him for long minutes as the sun travelled further down the horizon. By the time we were saying goodbye, it was getting late. It's almost 7:00 now. I should've been home 3 hours ago. I couldn't leave Sal though. He was crying so much and I needed to be there for him. I'm pretty sure he will have his friends back by tomorrow, they all forgive each other quickly so it's wouldn't be surprising to see them back to their little investigations soon. They need time to calm down. 

"TRAVIS! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!"

I could feel my anxiety rising at I slowly got up and trudged downstairs.

"Y-yes, father?" I stuttered.

"I noticed you weren't here when I got home. Where the hell were you?" his voice was stone cold as he spoke, conveying no emotions at all. I shivered in fear.

"I was doing a project a-at some guys house. I didn't really w-want him as my partner but teacher insisted."

"And who is this 'guy'?" he asked, the volume of his voice rising.

"Just some boy in my class. I d-don't really like h-him."

He glared at me, fury burning in his eyes. He was mad.

"You're lying, aren't you?" he hissed.

"N-no, why would I lie t-to you?" I was terrified.

There was a flash of red and I was on the floor, rolled up into a tiny ball to protect myself. There was a painful ringing in my ears, I could only just hear the next words he spat at me.

"Don't you ever fucking lie to me again, you filthy faggot," then he actually spat on me.

"I won't, I p-promise," I wiped his spit off my cheek.

"Now get up!" he grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me off the floor," go upstairs!"

I was surprised but still ran up to my room and locked the door behind me. I had managed to get the key of my room away from my father. Now I can lock the door when he's angry at me. I wasn't expecting him to let me go, usually he'd hurt me way more then either let me drag myself back up to my room or do it for me. My face stung a lot from where he slapped me, it also burnt slightly. He wears this heavy gold ring which makes it even more painful when he hits me. It's left a lot of bruises before. I was still quaking with fear, his eyes, his voice always leave me scared. My arms were starting to itch again but I tried my best to ignore it. As Sal said, cutting myself wouldn't help with any of my problems. I instead wrote a poem in my notebook about everything that had happened today:

'I wasn't expecting him to follow me into the bathroom again.

I wasn't expecting him to even care 

but he does and he proved it all to me today.

A single kiss was enough for my head to go insane

but two was too much for me to handle.

I'm still not sure if this is how I should feel.

I can't risk more bruises and cuts

but there's no denying it.

I love Sal Fisher

and he loves me too.'

It was true. I do love him. It makes me want to die sometimes but I get over that single feeling quickly. He just makes me feel so alive, that not everyone is out to get me. I don't want to kill myself anymore. The idea was enticing at first but now that I know how he feels as well, I just can't go through with it anymore. Not when I would leave him behind. I mean he'd probably get over my death but I don't really want to think of that. I'd feel awful if I just died and he actually cared. I remember his cuts and I don't want him to do that again. I'll make sure he doesn't do that again. I want him to be okay, just like how he says I'll be okay. I want everything to be happy.

"Travis?" Mom whispered on the other side of the door.

I got up and unlocked it. I didn't even know she was home. When I opened the door, she rushed in and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Has that bastard hurt you?" she said.

"He slapped me earlier but nothing I haven't gotten before. Why?" I asked, confused by how worried she was.

She backed away slightly but held onto me. Blood ran down the her face.

"What the fuck mom?" I muttered. I didn't know if he was still at home.

"He was a little angry when I got home and he managed to catch the side of my face with a knife. I needed to make sure he hadn't done anything like that to you."

"Don't worry about me, worry about you!" I quietly exclaimed.

"It's not that bad, I just want you to be safe. If he'd hurt you badly then I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I wouldn't have been around to protect you," she said.

"It's looks pretty bad, we should go clean it up," I took her to the bathroom.

I cleaned the wound with a few tissues and water then had a closer look.

"Okay, you might've been right. Looks like a large paper cut," I said, grabbing a box of plasters," you're gonna look slightly weird after this but that doesn't matter."

I carefully placed a plaster on the cut.

"There! Hopefully it'll heal soon and..." she was crying,"mom what's wrong?"

"I should be the one looking after you, Travis, not the other way round. I'm a failure of a mother," her voice was quiet.

"No you're not! You're the best mom ever and I wouldn't want anyone else," I wrapped my arm around her and wiped her tears away with my free hand.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"I love you so much," I said.

We sat there for ages on the edge of the bathtub. I don't even know what time it is anymore. I didn't care if he was still downstairs. I needed to comfort her. She didn't have anyone else to turn to other than me. It's really depressing that she only has her seventeen year old son to talk to. Her colleagues at work aren't very nice to her and she hates the people at the ministry. Mom is actually quite lonely, just like me. It makes me feel like shit.

"Is he gone?" I asked.

"Yeah, he left just after," she said.

I looked up at the bathroom door and sighed in relief. We have time.

"Let's go out, just us two," I said.

"Should we? I mean, what if he gets back before us?"

"It would be worth the risk and if he is then I'll say it was my idea."

"Travis, I don't want you to do that for me," mom said.

"But I want to, I don't want him to hurt you for something I suggested," I let go of her and stood up. I held my hand out to her. She smiled at me.

"Let's go then."


	21. Larry

I don't even understand what the fuck happened yesterday. First it was fine, then Sal and Ash have a fight and he gets pissed off at me for just being there. And who the hell gave Travis a fucking hickey? That was definitely one thing I needed to know. Todd said that it wasn't impossible put preacher boy makes it hard to even talk to him. I didn't think Travis even had a girl yet. Thing is, who'd ever want a homophobe for a boyfriend? No one would. Todd also said that Travis cuts himself. I don't know if that's true though. I've seen Sal's scars and they were pretty bad, I don't even know how deep he cut. Travis is probably doing it to get attention. I wouldn't be surprised if he was. The things I've seen kids do to get a little bit of recognition are just weird. I feel bad for Ash. She really didn't deserve that from Sal. The look on her face as he just shouted at her was upsetting. I've liked Ash for a while now but she likes Sal, I know she does. I want to forget about it but I can't. I just can't fucking deal with this. She'll probably think of me as her friend, nothing else. I guess I deserve that. I'm nothing much anyways.

'Yeah, you're worth nothing Larry.'

I can see Travis now as I'm walking down the hall. Something is going on between him and Sal. He defended him yesterday, he's never done that before. Well, he has but not to the extent where we get into fights about it. Sal usually mentions how his home life must be shit which means he's always on edge. I have to admit though that the bruise on his eye is never an accident. It's been there for almost a year now and as Todd mentioned, he probably didn't get it from falling off his bike. I used to think that just so I wouldn't feel bad for him but he gets defensive whenever someone questions him about it. I'm gonna ask him about Sal. I need an answer to all my questions. I make my way over to him but instead of confronting him, I lean against one of the lockers and wait for him to speak first. He knows I'm there but he tries to ignore me as he collects his books. Eventually, Travis rolls his eyes and turns to face me.

"What do you want, stoner boy?" he sighed.

"I want to know what's going on between you and Sal."

"What the fuck are you on about? I don't talk to..." he stops and looks at the floor. I stare at him in confusion.

"I'm such a fucking idiot," he murmurs. 

"What do you mean?"I ask.

"Look I know sorry isn't enough for the shit I've done to you guys but I'll say it anyways. I'm really... sorry," Travis doesn't look up at me.

I'm standing there in absolute shock at his words. Did he really just apologise? I'm glad he thinks that I won't forgive him because I definitely won't.

"I don't really hate any of you but... Look, just know that I'll back off now," he walks away from me, leaving me by the lockers.

******************************************************************************

"Uh Larry? You okay? You look very... confused," Ash said.

"Some weird shit happened earlier, shit to do with Travis."

Ash frowned and slowly breathed in and out.

"Would you kindly explain this shit then?" she said, her voice strained.

"So, I confronted him about Sal and whatever the fuck is going on between them and at first he was gonna say some homophobic crap but he just stopped before he even said it," I was still a little weirded out by it.

"What do you mean he just stopped?" Todd said.

"He stopped himself and apologised to me. For everything he's done to hurt us. I don't believe him but he said he'd back off from us."

"He what?" Ash's mouth dropped slightly.

"He just walked off after that. I don't forgive him for the shit he's done to us."

"Same here. He's been such a twat bag to Sal as well," Ash said.

"Maybe we should just give him a chance. Sal has never actually hated the guy, he's tried to find reasons why he did that shit to him," Todd folded his arms.

"How can we though?"

"Maybe hear him out. Listen to his reason," he said.

"What reason does he have?" Ash replied.

"He's obviously gay and conflicted about it. I'm not the only gay in school y'know!" he stood up and started to walk away,"I'm gonna go find Neil."

Fuck, not again. Another fucking argument because of preacher boy.

"Looks like it's me and you now Larry," Ash muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is pretty shit. It was like twelve in the morning when I was writing this and I had bad writers block at the time. It's a chapter for venting, that's all it really is. I'm sorry for this piece of shite and hopefully the others will be better than this.


	22. Sally Face

Todd isn't sitting with them anymore. I don't know what the hell happened but it doesn't seem good. Fuck, I've ruined a lot, haven't I? Ash looks super pissed off, she glances at me for a second then quickly looks away. I don't think she could see me staring at her, my mask darkens my eyes so it's hard to see them. Travis is sitting a table away from me. He didn't want our little... thing to become public yet and I respect his wishes. I care about him a lot and he cares about me too. I just want the others to understand. I want them to see how he and his mom are treated horribly by his dad. Fuck, I just want my friends back. Im a major fuck up.

"Hey Sal," I look up to see Todd and Neil carrying their trays over to my table.

"Hi," I gestured for them to sit down. 

"Are you okay?" Neil asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. How're you two lovebirds then?"

"We're fine Sal." Todd looked even more pissed off than Ash. 

"You don't sound fine Todd," I said," You guys get into a fight?"

Todd nodded and held his head in his hands. 

"We fought about Travis," he muttered.

"You did?" I exclaimed, almost shocked. I didn't think that he would stick up for Travis this much.

"Well, they were once again whining about you being nice to him and I gave them a fucking reason why you would be!"

"Wait, did you tell them?"

"No but I hinted that there's more to Travis than being an asshole," Todd was close to crying. I felt bad for him, he's never gotten into an argument with one of us before. He's always been on the sidelines.

Neil put his arms around him and gently rubbed his back. I couldn't really do anything for him, I was never the best around people who cried. I looked over at Travis who shrugged. 

"I'll leave you guys to it," I stood up and walked over to Travis's table. He almost jumped out of his seat when he saw me.

"What the fuck Sal?" he said.

"I'm leaving those two to talk. I'm not good around people who cry."

"You were fine with me," he murmured.

"That's because you're different Travis," I said.

He blushed and I smiled underneath my mask. I sat next to him.

"But we agreed-"

"And I'm ignoring what we agreed," I cut him off.

His face got even redder. I looked over at Ash and Larry. They were both staring at us.

"Sal, you promised not to come near me at school," he whispered.

"I've never been that good at keeping promises especially if they're too people I don't know too well," I winked at him.

"Fuck," he muttered.

We sat in silence for a while. Ash's eyes were filled with anger while Larry's looked more sad and confused. I still felt horrible after the events of yesterday. I had considered talking to them but it felt too soon. Ash was obviously still angry and I'm not sure about Larry. He's probably pissed off at me as well.

"If you want to be with your friends, then go ahead. I won't stop you."

I turned to Travis.

"No, I want to be with you," my heart beat got faster as I said it.

"You do?" 

"Of course, I do. I fucking kissed you twice Travis," I said.

"Not here Sal," Travis was trying to hide his face which was as red as a tomato now.

I smiled. A real smile, not a forced one. I was fucking happy around him. He's never failed to make me feel alive. I do love my friends but this is a new kind of love.

"Where then?" I asked.

"That would look suspicious," he answered.

I wanted him but I needed to wait

"Okay fine."

"I'm sorry Sal," Travis said.

"It's fine Travis. I'm being stupid," I mentally slapped myself.

"You're not being stupid. I want to kiss you as well but I don't want to make things worse between you guys," he said.

"You're not doing anything wrong. The argument is between me and them."

"An argument about me Sal!" He exclaimed," that's how I'm involved. They all hate me!"

"So what if they hate you? I don't."

"I know you don't, I just don't want you to lose friends because of me," Travis went to put his hand over mine but thought better of it. I felt disappointed.

"We'll be fine, I know we will," I reassured him.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You tell me this but I'm not sure if it's meant for me," he said.

"But it will be. I'm sure of... it," I hesitated.

"You hesitated," he said.

"No I fucking didn't!"

"Don't deny it. I heard you pause!"

"Yeah but only because I..." I couldn't find a good reason.

"I knew it!" He grinned triumphantly.

"Shut up! I hate you!" 

"Nah, you could never hate me. You love me too much," he whispered.

"Maybe you're right but... No I got nothing," damn it.

"I love you too," he said.

I could feel pride filling me. For the first time in a while, everything was fine. I was fine. The world was fine. I want it to stay like that. I hope the others will forgive me. Maybe if I explained myself to them, they'd be alright with Travis. I'll ask him later if I can tell them but for now I want to enjoy this. A perfect moment with the boy I love.


	23. Neil

"I don't really understand the problem here," I said.

"They're both sticking up for the homophobic asshole. The one who bullied Sal for ages," Ash said, crossing her arms.

"So why are you letting it get in the way?" I asked.

She opened her mouth to argue back but stopped. She'd been complaining about the Sal issue for a while now. I'd offered to help Todd when he got upset over their argument. After all, I am like almost two years older than them, I've dealt with my fair share of situations before.

"I... I just want things to be back to normal," she almost whispered, knotting the sleeves of her purple shirt in her hands.

"Then stop getting mad at Sal and try to make things right," I was firm with her.

Larry was awkwardly sitting at the side. He was staring at the floor, spacing out from the conversation happening next to him. He looked genuinely upset.

"Larry?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Are you mad at Sal?"

"No, I'm just confused as fuck," he returned his attention to the floor again.

"Neil, what the hell do we do?" Ash asked.

"Go fucking talk to him about it, nothing will be resolved if you sit here and sulk about it," I exclaimed.

"Hey, I ain't sulking!" she said, getting defensive.

"Yes you are Ash. It's not helping your case."

"Okay, I'll talk to him about it when we get back to the apartments," Larry said.

Fucking hell, that took a while. I glanced at Todd and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled at me. I hope they all become friends again, they make a good team.


	24. Sally Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More girl chat?

The rest of the day went by quickly, right now I'm back at the apartments. Its weird not being with Larry, we usually spend afternoons in his apartment. I'm not sure if he's pissed off at me. I don't know if he'd be willing to speak to me. I know Neil went to them and had a chat about it but the details were quite hazy. He didn't tell us what would happen next. Travis is still adamant that Larry and Ash won't believe him if he told them about the abuse even though I keep on telling him that they'd be fine. I'm scared that things will never be the same ever again. 

"Sal?" I looked up to see Larry by the door.

"Hey Larry," I said.

He walked over and sat next to me. He didn't look angry at all.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"Pretty shit to be fair," I answered, there was no point in lying.

"Oh... Uh, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," I said.

"Okay... What the hell is going on between you and Travis?" he was staring at his hands, not even showing any signs of wanting to look at me.

"I'll tell you but please don't judge me. A lot of shit has happened recently and I just can't deal with more."

"Okay, I just need to know what's going on," he said.

"So things have changed between us as you can tell. A few days ago I found him in the bathroom and he was a fucking mess. We made up and it's been better. Then you guys come along and... I got confused. I didn't mean to shout at Ash but I spoke before I could even form the words in my fucking head," I was ashamed of myself. I acted childish yesterday.

"Did you give Travis the hickey?"

I stared at him in surprise.

"How the fuck did you find out?" I said.

"It's so obvious that he likes you, dude. His face when you went up to him today. So did you then?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah... I did," I felt so embarrassed by that. I didn't mean to make that mark on his neck.

"Why didn't you say? I could've tried to be a bit more... nice to Travis. I'm not an asshole you know," Larry said.

"You all seemed to hate him so I kept quiet. I didn't want to ruin anything."

"Ash hates him but that's because she likes you. She wants to keep you safe," Larry looked a little disappointed.

"You still like her?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I'm pretty sure she does as well. She's more of a sister to me. You've known her longer," I said.

Her mom and his mom have been friends since they were young. They drifted apart when Larry's dad went missing but recently they've been talking more and more. 

"Yeah, and you're snogging Travis so there's no chance of you two now," he laughed," so when did this thing start?"

"Well, he took me to this place he goes when things get rough for him at home. It was nice and he asked me to take my mask off and I did, then the next thing I knew I was just kissing him. I don't even know what the fuck was happening but I didn't want it to stop," I'm confused as to why I'm suddenly so comfortable sharing this with Larry," Jesus Christ, we sound like fucking teenage girls right now."

"Fuck that dude, I need to know more. What do you mean by 'when things get rough for him at home'?"

Okay, now I feel uncomfortable.

"It's not really my place to say but just know that it's not easy for Travis. He gets a lot of shit out of school," I said, messing around with one of my pigtails.

Larry looked as if he wanted to say more about it but decided not to. 

"He apologised to me earlier. By the lockers. I wasn't going to accept it but now that I know the truth I might reconsider," he said instead.

"Did he really?" I asked.

"Yeah and he looked as if he meant it," Larry answered.

"That's good. I've been trying to get him to talk to you but he won't. He says you wouldn't believe him."

"That's bullshit. I may not like him but I'd be willing to listen at least."

We both laughed. Holy shit, it was so good to be talking to Larry. Now I just need to get Ash to listen to me.


	25. Travis

Sal messaged me earlier saying that he spoke to Larry about everything. I'm happy but I'm also kinda scared. He didn't tell me how he reacted, I just hope it was good. For a while, I was kinda scared of Larry. He could be quite intimidating sometimes especially when it came to Sal. Made me think of some kind of brotherly love. I should know, I had a little brother for about a few months before he died. I remember when mom first found out she was gonna have a baby. She seemed to be glowing every time I looked at her, she always had a large smile on her face. I was quite excited but then he died and I didn't feel anything for ages. It took me about a year to get over it, I was only young at the time. It was also when father got worse and worse though I never like to think that the death bothered him. His heart had already frozen over way before my brother was born so it was impossible for something like that to make it worse. After he died, mom just shut down completely. She only went out to go to work and when she got home she would just be quiet. She only responded to questions but the answers she gave were always vague. It broke my heart to see her so weak. It was understandable, she had literally lost a baby but it got to the point where she would snap at me. She apologised afterwards every time she did it but it would be very hurtful when she did. Then she got better and stopped. Dad still hurts her physically but she's mentally healthy. I'm glad. Even if she has an abusive prick as a husband and a gay freak for a son, she still goes on. If only things were different and she had left dad sooner. Maybe we'd be safe. Both me and my mom stopped relying on faith ages ago, some beliefs are still lingering in our heads but we don't want them there. It's just a lot of shit to think about. I guess the way I was taught made things different. If dad never laid a finger on me, maybe I'd be different. I'm not but I'm happy. I have Sal and mom, I don't need anyone else.


	26. Ash

It's been a few days since the argument. Since then I've not spoken to Sal once and... God, I miss him. I can't be mad at him forever, it's basically impossible to hate him. Maybe that's why Travis is suddenly best friends with him, maybe he never hated to Sal. I have thought of this before but I'd just get so pissed at myself for even thinking of that. I guess I feel kinda bad now. Todd's boyfriend, Neil, had a chat with me and Larry about Sal and now all I can think about is how I'm gonna say sorry to him. I'll go talk to him a school tomorrow and push my hatred for Travis aside. I hope he confirms my suspicions, they've been driving me fucking crazy. I think Travis is a little gay for Sal and I think Sal feels the same. I could be wrong. The others have been guessing Sal's sexuality pretty much since we all first started hanging out but he actually came out to me as bisexual last year, told me he didn't want to tell the others yet which I respected. They still don't know and they're still guessing. I'm not sure why he doesn't want to tell them yet, they're going to accept him no matter what, but I stayed quiet about it. Im not sure about Travis or if he's told anyone but I've started to notice that they both seem to follow each other into the bathroom. I think Sal went in the day Travis had that hickey on his neck, I'm pretty sure it was him who made that marking. At least I've finally confirmed that. Pretty much everyone else at school seems to not like Travis much, they make fun of him and name calling is quite frequent. I think the most recent name is 'religion nut', I always wince when I hear it. I guess I feel a little bad for the guy, he probably hadn't lived a good life, the scars on his arms really say a lot. I've almost finished the drawing of Sal, I think it looks good. I hope he likes it. So that's my plan, approach Sal, apologise to him and Travis, give him the drawing then silently pray that he accepts it. I just want things to change.


	27. DISCONTINUED

I'm really sorry but I am going to discontinue this book, I have literally lost all motivation to continue writing it. I feel that this book doesn't really capture what Sally Face is all about and it honestly just pisses me off. I think this is the first time I've really hated writing something. If anyone would want to continue this book on their own then go ahead, feel free to. If anyone does complete it, can you send it to me? I want to see what you did better. Thank you for understanding and once again I'm so sorry for this because I know a lot of people liked this story. It's just my feelings towards continuing this story are very complicated and I don't want to write something I don't particularly enjoy writing. I will leave the story up though so you can read it again. Thank you for reading though, I appreciate it.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago on another website and it got quite popular so I brought it here.


End file.
